Monday, December 22, 2008
God doesn't want you, but I do
I love being home. I say that as if I hate being at college but that isn't true, but I really love being at home. I love being in my own bed, I love being back in my basement with my couch and my tv a lot. I love being awake at 4 am watching TV by myself with candles. Candles are so pretty and there's a severe lack of them at college (because they're a fire hazard obviously) and I'm loving them because they are not in my life usually. I love being with my friends. I really really do. I loved thursday night with Jeromiah and Steven and Cass and Caitlin. I had lovely girl talk with Caitlin and I cannot even explain how much I love being around my friends because of their physicality. That's what I miss at college: sitting with my friends, especially Jeromiah. And Maggie really. And I had fun at Olive Garden with Jeromiah and Courtney and Megan and Marshall, hearing everyone's college stories. It kinda saddens me that Courtney and Megan already miss school. Like I don't get it. No part of me misses school yet. Like yeah, I kinda think it'd be sweet if Katherine and Emily and Jeff could come hang out with my friends cuz that'd be fuckin sweet, but I love being home. I love being with my parents; I spent all day just chillin with them, watching comedy central and it was fine. I love my parents. I really really do. I love everyone at home. I wish I could take them all back to school with me when I go back again. And I loved being at Katerina's house. We played frickin trivial pursuit and it was just a blast for no reason. Like we don't have to do the shit that people at college think of as a party but it was still just fun. Also, my goodness, Cherry Vale Mall is so legit compared to some town's mall aka the Sandburg Mall in Galesburg. It is not a real mall compared to my mall. Rockford is representing with its mall man, that's all I'm saying. And tomorrow I'm going to Crimson Ridge with my mom as per holiday tradition, and sometime this week I'm spending some quality borders time. Or maybe post-christmas I will, because hopefully I just get borders money for christmas along with my new york trip. I AM SO EXCITED FOR SARAH TO GET HERE IN 5 DAYS!!! SO EXCITED!!! So excited. Oh my goodness I cannot wait to see my best friend because I haven't since June. That's so long to survive on just phone calls. And I'm excited to see my extended family again on Christmas and Christmas Eve. And I loved holding my goddaughter being at my cousins. I missed that baby, seriously, which is so strange to hear me say, but holding her I kind of get it. I just want to spoil her to death, I just wanna hold her and kiss her and make her smile. Which is the most maternal I will ever be probably. But yeah, no part of me being home is bad. I love it. Love it. And I cannot wait to see everyone else: Ali, Drew, Brandon, Wood, Katie because she's going to come into rockford :) as is Kellie! And hopefully I'll see Kelsey, Joe, Tiffany, Jillian, Phil, Anju, Robbie... I just wanna see as many people as possible. And I cannot wait for New Years Eve!!!! Cannot wait, it's going to be a blast because we're all going to be together. Gah. Can I explain how much I lovelove love love my friends? I probably cannot. But Yeah, I'm gonna end this rant of love. But being home is amazing is the point. But I'm pretty sure I'll be ready to go back when it's time to. But right now I'm loving Rockford.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
"If I weren't gettin a buzz, I'd be very embarassed"
I get to go home in like 3 days and I'm so very excited. Especially because I have a severe need to do laundry. Like because of Thanksgiving break it's not even that I miss home that much, I mean i do, because I want to see all my friends and my parents again, but it's that I'm ready to be away from here and the people here and the silly shit they do... Not everyone, but you know, the people that I'm sometimes friends with. Also Katherine is no longer leaving next semester so it's ok that it is winter break time. But seriously, this long ass sleepover that college has been needs to end now. Like that's how it feels. Like it's been real fun but you guys gotta get outta my house; come back next week but get out now. Which is why I'm so glad Katherine isn't leaving because most of the time the idea of living with someone bugs the hell outta me and her and I are so compatible as roommates- I never woulda got that again.
Ok, well I have to study my ass off for my history final tomorrow. I'm a little bit panicking about it. Because I want to do well. I have to do decently well. The honors program means my grades actually matter quite a bit. That's new in my life. Whatever, I have to go.
Ok, well I have to study my ass off for my history final tomorrow. I'm a little bit panicking about it. Because I want to do well. I have to do decently well. The honors program means my grades actually matter quite a bit. That's new in my life. Whatever, I have to go.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Cool story, Hansel
So I did this on facebook already but I wanna do another one so here we go.
16 random things about me
1. I love painting tips on my nails. Whether I tip them in black or silver doesn't matter, I really like how it looks ever since I learned to paint my nails when i stopped biting them.
2. I do not communicate with my friends via email. Like I just don't. I don't know why, but I'd much rather handwrite emotional things. I feel like it makes them deeper almost.
3. The most conflicted feelings I have are about being called baby. It pisses me off at the same time as it makes me feel wanted. And seriously the fact that i can't actually figure out how I feel about it irks me. No other pet names bother me in the same way, hun, honey, babe, all are fine I just shake them off as pet names because I use them too (Boo annoys the shit outta me as a pet name, i have no idea why.) it's just being called baby sort of bothers me. Maybe it bothers me because it's condescending but makes me feel wanted. I have these thoughts every time I'm called baby.
4. As much as it artistically annoys me when I hear nothing but synthesizer on a cd, I really like the way it sounds. Like T-Pain, he can't even sing but I like his music.
5. My communications class made me miss English so much it is ridiculous, because whenever Van Kirk lectured it just reminded me that English was so much better. I like Van Kirk a lot, but it just seems like we made a kind of intellectual concept into something really dumbed down.
6. I will be sick of my hair dye by next weekend. I can tell you right now that I will probably be dying it back to black once I get it cut at home.
7. I don't actually like trying to sleep with another person. Like if I was being held and fell asleep that's nice, or if I'm falling asleep and someone lays down with me that's fine, but actively trying to fall asleep like i inevitable do most nights (I know that seems oxymoronic) doesn't work when I'm with another person because to fall asleep I have to move around a lot before I finally fall asleep and I wind up not falling asleep because I'm worried about them falling asleep. But at the same time, I really like just laying in bed with a person.
8. I believe that drunk voicemails are funnier than drunk dials. Especially group drunk voicemails. ha The funniest one of these I ever got was from a group of my closest guy friends; i wish I still had it.
9. I think glitter should be on just about everything. I love sparkles.
10. skipping is underrated. I like it.
11. Whenever I see a couple sitting together, like leaning on each other I miss Jeromiah a lot, not because we're a couple because clearly we are not, but because he's one of the people I am the most physical with and I miss that here at college. And this also has to do with my severe longing for couches, because they're made to be sat on with more than one person; sitting on someone else's bed is so intrusive when you haven't been invited to and sitting in a chair is well you know a one person thing.
12. I can never really explain why I enjoy things. I'm bad at reviewing things.
13. I don't actually like punk music but I absolutely love the punk ideals and that culture. If i could be a part of any other culture it would be the late 70s punk scene or the hippie culture.
14. Sometimes I don't think intentions matter at all because all that matters is actions and how people interpret them. Because no one can feel someone else's feelings. I had that thought and it depressed me.
15. In 7th and 8th grade I had 149 pictures of Eminem on my bedroom wall.
16. I haven't the faintest idea what I'm going to do with a double major in English and Classics but I'm going to get it and I'm going to force myself to love every second of it from here on out.
16 random things about me
1. I love painting tips on my nails. Whether I tip them in black or silver doesn't matter, I really like how it looks ever since I learned to paint my nails when i stopped biting them.
2. I do not communicate with my friends via email. Like I just don't. I don't know why, but I'd much rather handwrite emotional things. I feel like it makes them deeper almost.
3. The most conflicted feelings I have are about being called baby. It pisses me off at the same time as it makes me feel wanted. And seriously the fact that i can't actually figure out how I feel about it irks me. No other pet names bother me in the same way, hun, honey, babe, all are fine I just shake them off as pet names because I use them too (Boo annoys the shit outta me as a pet name, i have no idea why.) it's just being called baby sort of bothers me. Maybe it bothers me because it's condescending but makes me feel wanted. I have these thoughts every time I'm called baby.
4. As much as it artistically annoys me when I hear nothing but synthesizer on a cd, I really like the way it sounds. Like T-Pain, he can't even sing but I like his music.
5. My communications class made me miss English so much it is ridiculous, because whenever Van Kirk lectured it just reminded me that English was so much better. I like Van Kirk a lot, but it just seems like we made a kind of intellectual concept into something really dumbed down.
6. I will be sick of my hair dye by next weekend. I can tell you right now that I will probably be dying it back to black once I get it cut at home.
7. I don't actually like trying to sleep with another person. Like if I was being held and fell asleep that's nice, or if I'm falling asleep and someone lays down with me that's fine, but actively trying to fall asleep like i inevitable do most nights (I know that seems oxymoronic) doesn't work when I'm with another person because to fall asleep I have to move around a lot before I finally fall asleep and I wind up not falling asleep because I'm worried about them falling asleep. But at the same time, I really like just laying in bed with a person.
8. I believe that drunk voicemails are funnier than drunk dials. Especially group drunk voicemails. ha The funniest one of these I ever got was from a group of my closest guy friends; i wish I still had it.
9. I think glitter should be on just about everything. I love sparkles.
10. skipping is underrated. I like it.
11. Whenever I see a couple sitting together, like leaning on each other I miss Jeromiah a lot, not because we're a couple because clearly we are not, but because he's one of the people I am the most physical with and I miss that here at college. And this also has to do with my severe longing for couches, because they're made to be sat on with more than one person; sitting on someone else's bed is so intrusive when you haven't been invited to and sitting in a chair is well you know a one person thing.
12. I can never really explain why I enjoy things. I'm bad at reviewing things.
13. I don't actually like punk music but I absolutely love the punk ideals and that culture. If i could be a part of any other culture it would be the late 70s punk scene or the hippie culture.
14. Sometimes I don't think intentions matter at all because all that matters is actions and how people interpret them. Because no one can feel someone else's feelings. I had that thought and it depressed me.
15. In 7th and 8th grade I had 149 pictures of Eminem on my bedroom wall.
16. I haven't the faintest idea what I'm going to do with a double major in English and Classics but I'm going to get it and I'm going to force myself to love every second of it from here on out.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Spoiled little LA girl
I had a blast down at Mizzou because I loved seeing Maggie. The drive wasn't too bad but I definitely don't wanna do it a lot lol.
Initiation was great. Very fun and very much what I expected initiation to be like. I was and still am very excited to be an official member of Kappa. Going greek was an excellent decision; I'm very glad I changed my mind about it.
Twilight the movie sucked. I'm disappointed by everyone who liked it. I think it just reiterated that those books are bad. Gah I hate that I've read them ugh.
Semi formal for Kappa was strange. It made me miss my friends a lot. Like it was fun I suppose but mostly made me miss my old life.
Thanksgiving break was awesome but far too short. It made me recognize how my life is crazy. Like make a movie of my life crazy. But awesome. I seriously think my life on paper is spectacular. But yeah. I don't have a whole lot to say. That's why I haven't been updating this.
I'm almost done with my first semester of college and that's insane to me. Insane. Like how can I be this old? But w/e. Life is decent as hell for sure :)
Initiation was great. Very fun and very much what I expected initiation to be like. I was and still am very excited to be an official member of Kappa. Going greek was an excellent decision; I'm very glad I changed my mind about it.
Twilight the movie sucked. I'm disappointed by everyone who liked it. I think it just reiterated that those books are bad. Gah I hate that I've read them ugh.
Semi formal for Kappa was strange. It made me miss my friends a lot. Like it was fun I suppose but mostly made me miss my old life.
Thanksgiving break was awesome but far too short. It made me recognize how my life is crazy. Like make a movie of my life crazy. But awesome. I seriously think my life on paper is spectacular. But yeah. I don't have a whole lot to say. That's why I haven't been updating this.
I'm almost done with my first semester of college and that's insane to me. Insane. Like how can I be this old? But w/e. Life is decent as hell for sure :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
