Comin Home

The Kappa retreat was a lot of fun. General hanging out learning about each other eating pizza with no plates, sharing pop from 2 litre bottles, singing dirty songs to the frats, hanging banners up with sheets instead of the tape we were provided with, and chalking the campus. It was fun and I definitely do feel closer to people in Kappa now.
So first of all, I got lost on my way home saturday, a whopping three different times. Well ok, i only got lost once, but took a wrong turn 2 other times. The one time I got on the wrong exit and started heading backwards towards Galesburg, it was really annoying; I was pissed. The first time I just missed an exit but could turn around in like two seconds so it wasn't a big deal. The major time I got lost, I didn't realize I had to get on 88 so i ended up in iowa. I saw the Mississippi and I was just like "i hate everything" and freaked out. Seriously I was so upset about it. But even though i got lost that many times I still only added half an hour to my ride home. But being at home was nice, kinda strange knowing I had to go back here again so soon but I really liked sleeping in my nontwin bed for sure and it was nice to see my entire family basically because Sunday was my parents' 34th anniversary so people were over for a lunch thing. It was also nice to see Jeromiah because I feel like I haven't made real guy friends here yet and I am missing it for sure. But on the way back here I had no issues at all. So that was my weekend.
We had softball practice tonight, and as much as I missed my girls and asbury, it was fun. I forget how much I actually just enjoy that sport. Like it's honestly such a good thing in my life. But my legs are gonna be real sore tomorrow because they don't have knee savers and I hadn't caught all summer really. But it was fun. That's all I really have to say though.
JDesk

First drive

So I don't really know why besides the fact that I have stuff I need to get, but I'm going home tomorrow. It's been a very strange week but I sort of blame that on being a girl. Like actual stuff happened this week too but I think I just freaked out about it because of PMS but whatever.
Tonight is our Kappa new member retreat and I'm really excited about it. Only because I think it'll make me closer to those girls and I'm excited for that. I think because of the fact that all my quad mates are going home this weekend (which is another reason I'm going home) I've noticed how not a ton of friends I have here. Not like I'm a big loser without friends or anything, it's just different so far you know?
But I have to go to my theatre class now so i just wanted to give a quick update.
JDesk

This Program May Contain Content Disturbing to Some Viewers

I don't know who to talk to about this one. I hate that it's upsetting to me but it is. God, it is. I'm so hurt by it and I just can't handle it right now. Like I just moved into college a little over a week ago and now I have to deal with this and I don't have any of my friends around to fix it. Even though they couldn't do it either and even if they were here I couldn't tell them. God I hate keeping secrets, especially when they hurt me. I just.. I don't know what to do either. I have to go do something though; I can't handle this at all just sitting here in my dorm. Hopefully my sorority meeting will make me feel better tonight. I think being in a sorority is really going to help me get friends that I'm really that close to, because right now I miss every one of my friends so much right now. I miss my old life right now.
My life is like a movie and sometimes I love it. I really do. But right now I wish i were in the audience, knowing what it is that I should do. Because you always know what the main character should do as an audience member, but in real life, you can't ever figure it out. Can't I just watch my life play out? And I'm missing my supporting characters. Missing them so much.
I may go get my ear pierced again. That may be what I do.
JDesk