In Theory

Ambition means very little without opportunity, but the reverse is true as well. I am dying for an adventure right now and I do not know how to sate that craving. And I don't know that I could man up to take the opportunity to pile some clothes into a bag and get in my car, 5$ in cash and a credit card and just go, trying to spend as little as possible, but seeing what I could find. I don't think I could allow myself to do it, because I'll be gone in the fall. Hopefully. If word comes that I'll still be in Monmouth in the fall, I'll do it. I'll just head west until I hit sunshine and a shore. I'll trust the world enough to leave comfort. In theory, I'll do it. I have very little holding me back except this screaming fear in my head that says...well, nothing specifically except "You can't" and I believe it more than I'd like.
I believe it a lot more than I'd like.

not the antichrist

Entitlement tastes bitter and sweet. Not bittersweet in the beautiful sense, but both in such overwhelming qualities that i cannot describe it. it cannot be made into one word. If you split that taste open it would be sugar and ash, blended, crystals being turned grey. It would be black diamonds melting away, making you cringe. But I lap it up from the ground, hoping to never be rid of such a distinction.

Dreaming as though you're on top

All art is inherently useless, but so is everything else.
I just want to drop pebbles in the water and watch it ripple away to nothing.
And playing God is all that's on my mind. But we're all playing at something.
I've come closer to the Platonic truth that we are all seeking an ideal and going about that by images.
We're all in Strawberry fields. Recreating that moment when we forgot such things and just felt. That's all it is: feeling.
Are there electrical impulses to the soul?
Mine remind me of you.
And the idea of infinite possibility lights me up, even though it is purely an idea that will forever be ephemeral. But isn't that beauty?
Driving into the sun, feeling it's warmth and craving that sense that you'll get somewhere, but being blinded and burned.
That's recreation.